worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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