I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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