I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
