quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
