Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
