Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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