im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize