the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
