I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
