Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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