you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
