Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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