the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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