It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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