YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
