Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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