My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
