doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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