so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
