So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Let's get the cat blown out
i now understand why vodka
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
