I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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