my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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