That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize
