hell yes lets make some ravioli
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
we're making bets on your personal life
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
