i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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