Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
