I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
