You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
