And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My vagina is officially offended.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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