if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize