You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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