I cannot find my penis.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I don't think brook has ever known best
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
