Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You are the jesus of drinking
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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