Small penises have feelings too.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
where are my eyebrows?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
