He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
