Is it normal to miss your booty call?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
