apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
