so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
