having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Still dying that you shit outside
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
