We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
