He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Mom said you looked used
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
