Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
