Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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