I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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