don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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