weddingsv make me drug and hornr
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
