What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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