thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
