I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
