Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
