I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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