What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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