i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
