dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
