so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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