Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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