I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Randomize
