somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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