I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
