Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
nutella sex= disaster
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
