i just made my gag reflex go away.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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