I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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